So it's about time for a wedding update!! (believe me I have about three drafts of updates but somehow I never end up pushing the publish button)....Slowly but surely things have been falling into place, however the list of things to do seems to be growing exponentially! But first, a step back in time to my initial attempts at blogging about my wedding.....
September 3rd, 2010
In two months, I literally flew around the world with stops in Istanbul, Chicago, Denver, LA, Tokyo and Cairo. And my last stop before heading back to my home in Arusha, was Zanzibar. I hadn't seen Fesal during the whole of those two months and as the ferry from Dar Es Salaam pulled into the Stonetown harbor, I looked anxiously out on the dock below trying to find him amongst the crowd. His mother, who had traveled to Dar to greet me, laughed when she realized why I was looking so avidly down below and urged me to get in line with the horde of people pushing their way through the already cramped passagways. And then all of a sudden he was there! He shot me a smile that made my heart leap and then relieved both me and his mother of the bags weighing on our shoulders. I was surprised at my own giddiness and wide smile that seemed could never be erased from my face. Later he told me that to get to us faster, he had jumped the side of the boat opposite the ramp where people were slowly emptying out....It could have been a scene out of a movie. In fact, the whole story of our meeting is a tale fit for the screen, or at least an engrossing novelette. Someday, I will tell it....
Anyway, the highlight of my brief stay on Zanzibar was finding the place for the second day of our wedding festivities. Ironically, it will be at the ruins of Princess Salme's Palace. I say ironically, because her story is similar to mine and although it hasn't yet been made into a film (at far as I know) there are tales about her life that pass from ear to ear like rumors that turn into legends. When Fei and I went to the ruins we both instantly felt it was the perfect place. Old crumbling walls with elaorate archways and a direct view of the sea. Yep, perfect!
I have read the diaries of Princess Salme in the soft heat of the Zanzibar, not knowing at the time, that my life would in some ways mirror hers. Here is a link to a brief story about her life: http://www.zanzibar-travel-guide.com/bradt_guide.asp?bradt=1911September 28th, 2010
But now, one month later, I am wondering, does anyone besides professional wedding planners know what they're getting themselves into when planning a wedding? And to complicate things, we've got two seperate days of events and two completely cultural expectations to address. For one, I am NOT doing the stage thing. Here in Tanzania, they have this tradition of putting the bride and groom (poor souls) on a stage decorated in fake satin, fake flowers and plastic garlands, where they have to sit, unsmiling and sweating under a spotlight while the rest of audience looks on. There's no speech or food or drink. It's like looking into an old Sears window display of miserable looking manicans. Nope, not gonna happen.
But there are a few very interesting compromises that are going to be made. For example, although we will be wed traditionally in a room separate from the guests, save for family and a few witnesses, we will emerge and then pronounce our vows in front of everyone and exchange rings (which, by the way, are being made by a metal-smith friend of mine using the seashells that Fei and I collected on the northern beach of Zanzibar two summers ago). But the flavor of that first day, will be unmistakably Zanzibarian, complete with chai and halua - a sweet dark jelly that tastes of roasted almond and seasame.
Oct 3rd.
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| A card in the making. |
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| Our work space, looking organized as usual. |
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| my swahili is getting really good writing this message over and over and... |
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| even the envelope has little pasties |
So, Fesal and I decided to design our own invitations to be given out to his family and friends. While in the states I spent almost a week designing an invitation that was a large collage of various scraps of handmade paper highlighted with gold calligraphy. Then I took its picture and sent it to all my family and friends via email. But computers are slim to none in the average Tanzanian home, so we again went artsy-fartsy and are now in the midst of cutting, pasting and writing 150 individual invitations by hand....well, its been great to collaborate together, both in its design and production, but if it weren't for his continuing good mood throughout, I would be second -guessing our decision....but, I do have to say - they will NOT be what his family and friends expect. We are using handmade paper I picked up in Japan and the same gold calligraphy pens that I used to make the emailed invitation. Check them out!
Oct. 7th
So today I went with Fei to the local crafts market. We were looking for a certain kind of basket made of dried coconut leaves. There are about a handful of various styles of woven baskets that you can get there, all made from slightly different natural materials and different weaving techniques. But Fei and I wanted to find the one that was the simplest. Why? Because we want to place an order for 150 plate-size baskets - one for each of our wedding guests on which to eat their meal. It was an idea that came to us when I was wondering how were were going to get 150 sets of plateware and glasses for our guests if we weren't going to use a caterer (Fei's brother and relatives are going to all take part in the meal preparations). Renting might be an option and at one Zanzibar wedding they used paper plates and cups. Well, for some that might be one way to reduce costs, but that's not a corner I'm willing to cut - not to mention my tree hugger side of me cringing at the thought of all the waste....
Surpisingly, we were successful in finding what we were looking for: flat simply woven coconut leaf place mats - something that could easily be made in the shape of a plate. But it got complicated when we tried to get the contact of the actual craftsman who made them. Most shop dealers claimed not to know the number of the craftsman and one even tried to make a deal charging us $9 per plate. I wonder how much of that would actually have gone to the person making the plate.
In any case, we have made the first step. In two days we head to Zanzibar and maybe there we will find a basket weaver community that can make exactly what we want and be able to deal with them directly. And maybe on that search we will also come to know the craftsmen who make the cups made of dried cocunut shells - another non-conventional touch to add to the table spread. And then there's the menu to go over with his brother and Mom, and meeting with Salim to ask about where to get wine glasses, and going to see the space where the first day of our wedding festivities will take place, and looking for a place to rent Fei's suit, and going to florists - its no wonder there are so many romantic-comediesbased around weddings plans!!! The ample opportunity for melodramatic mayhem and misunderstandings could fill 100s of scripts...
Oct. 8th
Today I found a bra for $1!!! My dress designer is the one who suggested it - "Just go to mitumba!" (mitumba meaning any second-hand clothes market) - and it was while she and I looked down remorsefully at how uncooperative my boobs were being in making any sort of impact in her canvas wedding dress. Rather than risk making a design that didn't work, she had me buy 4 yards of off-white light canvas fabric to make a sample before cutting up my chosen fabric. Despite the lack of frontal cleavage, the dress as a whole was quite impressive and I can't even imagine how amazing it will be when she makes it in the beautiful, gilded, pure silk Indian saree that I bought in India-town Chicago. I was going to put up a pic of the saree - but my designer convinced me to wait until I get real pics of the day that I actually wear the dress. But i'll put up the canvas dress pics...
So, I found a bra that provided the effect that we were looking for and if everything goes as planned, on January 7th my boobs will be getting a lift that they haven't felt for nearly five years. You see, when I got to Japan, I no longer felt the need to fake anything more than what I had because 80% of everyone around me had about just as much as me - and all my bras got stuffed in a corner of the closet and hence never made it to Africa. But I guess, with my $1 strapless pulled out of a 4 foot pile of other unwanted bras, for one day, it wouldn't hurt to highlight what so poignantly defines a woman as a woman - thus man will be joined with woooooooman.
